A few months ago I blogged about the winter of my life. Call it the valleys or the winters; until you have been at your lowest, only then do you appreciate and recognise your mountains and springs. This was probably my first experience of winter in all my life and I am glad I went through it.
I have always been an upbeat person so most people would not have realized it which was fine because no one likes a party pooper and an energy vampire. Although most people would hibernate during this period; alive but asleep, I decided to make my winter meaningful. During my winter, I decided to do things I would never have otherwise. I ice-skated. I skied. I snowboarded. I slalomed. I bobsledded.
I am of course speaking metaphorically. I wasn’t going to let life take control of me. There were things I could do to build “muscles” and be strong mentally, physically and spiritually. There are areas in my control. I needed to nourish my soul.
I went on a mission trip to Sri Lanka and saw a country coming out from the ravages of war. You truly realize how blessed you are right here in Malaysia. I slept in a van and bathed by a well. It really humbles you. The whole experience fed me spiritually and I was not looking at myself (selfishly) for once.
I went on to build physical muscles with bootcamp and running. My feet have since taken me to Spain and Turkey. Running across Asia to Europe across the Bosphorus was one of the most pivotal and poignant moments for me. The bridge actually isn’t long but the bragging rights were worth it! I did short courses in belly dancing and pole dancing for the heck of it (yes, all are not easy!)
Mentally, I started journaling. There is no need for censorship. No one is going to judge you. It is one of the most therapeutic outlets right before the power of prayer. I also started blogging (these need to have some self-censorship!). I wrote two books in the process.
There were areas of my life I did hibernate though. These were areas beyond my control. I became still in those areas and chose to let God deal with them and let nature take its course because seriously, there was nothing I could do. These usually involved relationships where you do your best and leave the rest to Him.
Coupled with the most fulfilling job, I have had the most meaningful experiences in my winter even though the heart aches in the stillness of the night. From the outside world, it did not look like winter at all.
I don’t know when but I do know why. Through prayer, being mindful and building “muscles” especially when I didn’t feel like it, I just woke up one day and knew my winter was over. Just like that. The message was clear. It’s time to sow because spring is here. To sow into my life and into others. My cup needed to be full again before it can overflow and fill the needs of others. We can’t possibly be running on empty.
Maybe for you, it’s getting hold of the Spring/Summer collection of bags and clothes , doing ONE thing out of the ordinary this year, choosing to spend more time with more positive people to reducing an item on the bucket list. Do it anyway whatever your state of mind. For me, the leaves are appearing on the trees, the grass is growing green, the flowers are beginning to bloom and the soil is getting ready for planting.
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