I wrote this article in September for the December issue of Baccarat. I finally got hold of the magazine today and realized how much I needed to read it myself. I’m feeling crappy, upset, needy and insecure. I know the tools to get back on track but I just don’t feel like it. Yes, there will be days like these! I needed the reminder that tomorrow will indeed be a better day.
Given a 2-month deadline to write this article, I impressed myself (yet again) by actually writing it three months ahead because I have a major holiday due in October. Yes, we’re heading towards a brand new year. Yay! As I’m writing this, I am imagining it is December and the fantastic holiday I would have had in Europe and how I would have set goals for 2015.
We are always surprised at how time has passed so quickly. For me, 2014 would have been my most pivotal; personally and to the country. I am sure many will be writing about how eventful the year has been for Malaysia so I won’t go there.
Personally, this has been a year of bittersweet events and decisions. I started off saying yes to everything just like the character in the movie “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey. This I have come to realize may not be such a good idea but at least, they are no regrets but lots of learning! I’ll talk more about this later.
Having written a book last year, I decided to hone my skills further by taking a creative writing course. The deejay course was next. I should have done it by now. Fingers crossed! Sorry if this is beginning to sound or read like a “Back To The Future” movie.
My other goal is to visit a new country every year. I am assuming I will live for another 40 years so I have a long way to go. I was invited to contribute to two publications; this and a daily newspaper. It is quite daunting at first because I am known to bare my soul a little too much for my own good.
2014 started with plans to write two more books and an accidental business that evolved three times before it came to a final plan. The reality is my heart was broken not once but twice. My marriage and friendship of 25 years came to a halt despite many attempts to save it in the last six years. This has to be one of the most defining moments of my life and one of the most difficult things to say even now, having lived in hope for a long time.
My accidental what-would-have-been-wonderful business did not transpire. Trust was broken twice and a relationship of over a decade was shattered. There were sadness and tears again. One of the book projects did not take off and these two incidents happened concurrently in a span of two weeks. To say there was no brokenness was a joke.
Lessons learned? I didn’t pray about it or maybe I did. I asked for divine intervention to remove what was not meant to be and as painlessly as possible. That He did. In the process, I did not lose money and the projects ended before it got started. Also, I found out who my friends and associates were.
I am grateful for the many angels who were there with a simple encouraging word and actual advice and help when I needed it. I was lost but now I’m found. Like pure gold, we need to be refined and that’s going to take my lifetime.
Am I ready for 2015? It has been a roller coaster year and it’s made me what I am today. I’m hoping to read this in December with a satisfied smile on my face having thrived despite the setbacks. What are my plans? I am a little unsure really at this point. Some will be planned and some will be surprises.
As Sting once sang “Why don’t we turn the clock to zero honey. I’ll sell the stock we’ll spend all the money. We’re starting up a brand new day.” So long as you live with hope that things can only get better, it will. May you have an eventful year; bring it on 2015!